I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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