I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
