whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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