i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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