You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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