It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
you never un-have a 4some
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
