I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
