Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
We're facebook friends in real life
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize