I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
