but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
