You can't motorboat a personality
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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