I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
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I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
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Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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