I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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