I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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