I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
