benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I am available for nakedness
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
