One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
