If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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