i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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