I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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