We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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