i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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