i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
