He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I love having hate sex.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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