I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
