Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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