Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
