I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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