after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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