your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
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Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
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Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
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