Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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