I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
