the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
