I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
