I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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