so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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