dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
