so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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