big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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