I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
