My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
