Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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