But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
