Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The air was thick with penises
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
