David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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