It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
