By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
