You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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