So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
