He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
