He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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