I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
