She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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