I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize