Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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