Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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