She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I looked at my own cervix.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
