I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
