i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
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