Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize