I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
