i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
it's like iHOP with fire
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
