captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize