You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize