So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
