We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize